Some Jihadi tries to blow up a plane with explosive underpants, and the TSA promptly does what it has been doing since 2002: slamming the barn door shut after the horse, and catching all our metaphorical dicks in it in the process. The public needs to regain the feeling of safety, so the TSA takes swift steps to prevent any future attacks that may occur in precisely the same fashion.
Have you noticed that all those Jihadis are always so joyless? Like most proper religious zealots, fun seems to be specifically outlawed by religious edict. The fanatics in the hardcore fundamentalist offsprings of the Big Three Abrahamic religions are actually remarkably similar in that respect—they usually prohibit eating tasty stuff, using your body for any pleasurable activity, listening to non-Godly music, chugging booze, or doing anything that’s not directly related to scoring brownie points with the Big Guy upstairs.
Anyway, I thought it might be time for a new business venture, to bring some cheer to the joyless Warriors of Allah. I’ll need some venture capital for this, but I think it has enormous profit potential:
Introducing Kablamnimals™! The first line of explosive underwear with Koran-friendly cartoon characters!
Why put on those ugly homemade long johns when you could be blowing yourself into paradise while your loins are girded with whimsical and amusing animal friends? Choose from any of over two dozen characters, including Ghalib the Goat, Farouk the Fox, Hassan the Horse, and Careem the Camel!
The only explosive underwear on the market with an eternal guarantee! (Available with TNT, Semtex, and PETN liners.) Look for Kablamnimals™ soon at your local JihadMart, Hamas-R-Us, or official Wahhabi World™ merchandise store.
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